On Becoming Carol

Ever have that weird feeling you're becoming your Mother?  I'm sleeping in her bed, doing her laundry, stitching her quilt, cleaning her house, picking her berries.  Weird feeling, very weird.

Sunday Dad visited and had lunch with Mom and played cards.  He said she was doing pretty well, but did not want to come home because riding in the car hurts her head.  He didn't think to suggest a pain pill before the ride.  We tried that yesterday and it worked.

Sunday morning was cool so I pruned flowers and foliage and swept and cleaned the back porch, then did an Epsom salt soak and a nap.  That evening when I went to visit her, the door to her room was closed and the sign on it "Please do not knock, Carol is resting."  I had things to drop off there, so I quietly went in just to set them down.  She was awake and spoke right away.  She was lying on her bed under the covers watching TV.  She was ticked off because she had "gone to breakfast a little while ago and they kept telling me it was supper time, not breakfast time. My watch said 6:00 so I knew it was breakfast time.  I didn't want a fish sandwich for breakfast, but they wouldn't give me breakfast, and they kept saying it was 6:00 PM, not AM!" 

I said, "Yes, it was 6:00 PM, Mom.  They wouldn't lie to you.  They're just trying to help you.  Did you eat anything at all, then?" 

"Just a little bit of fruit."

"Do you want me to ask them for a bowl of cereal for you?"

"No.  Just let it be."

So I did.  I stroked her a bit and said goodbye and let her rest since she was already settled.  Poor dear.  It must hurt terribly to be so confused and be smart enough to realize it and have your dignity hurt.

Losing track of time of day is part of this disease.  It's called "sundowner's syndrome".

Yesterday she came home for dinner.  Chris and Jenna had come down to visit and brought chicken breasts, then Charlie and Susan came with sausages.  We had a nice dinner, looked through photo albums a while, and then she said she was tired and needed to go back.

Today it's cold!  Only 56 degrees this morning, rainy and grainy.  Quiet day, paperwork and phone calls.