I'm finding myself on the other side of this tragedy, and finding myself surprised to be here. It seemed endless, these last five months, like a nightmare that would not end. Now, I'm suddenly on the other side, and I don't know what to make of it.
We are all feeling a great sense of relief and release, that Mom is now resting and that her anguish, and ours on her behalf, is over.
But what now? The missing her will begin to be more painful, I imagine.
For now, though, we are enjoying hearing about our Mother from other peoples' perspectives. One of her high school friends told me, "Oh, I just remember her so much. When I moved into the area in seventh grade, your Mom was my best friend in school that year." Another man who had a son on Dave's baseball team, which Dad coached and Mom kept score for, got me crying yesterday, saying, "Your parents were just the best examples you could imagine for those boys. She was always there, at every game, cheering them on. When I think of your Mother, I think she just embodies the word 'love'."
There were a lot of people at both viewings today. We're tired now, back at Dad's (Drew, Jess, Chris and I), and the humor is degenerating as we get sillier from fatigue. Headed to a bath and bed now.
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Thank you for calling me Becky, I surprised myself, I drove Zack to his Dad's Christmas night, on the way home it hit me like a brick, I had to pull over and cried harder and louder than I ever have. All I could think of is we'll never hear her giggle again. I am so happy she isn't suffering, I am so happy Uncle Chuck isn't having to go she her laying there and withering away. I am so glad she was able to see Grandma and Grandpa on Christmas....... I'll miss her terribly. I love you all, Jane
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