Still Doing Well Here

From Texts to Chris:


i am still better but a little nauseous. took ben out and drove to post office to drop checks for the taos workers and to dog park and did fine. it seems to have passed for now.


chris i received your gift and i am absolutely stunned!! i literally gasped when i opened the necklace you made. its exquisite and youre right its exactly the right thing for me here and now and it looks beautiful with my skin. i am supposed to audition tomorrow and have a new black jersey top with open neck and lots of gathers on it, shirred to one side over the breast. this set will be amazing with it. i think i will wear one of the sets of earrings with it you already made like the one with a low dropping crystal.

benji smelled it and knew it came from you. i think he knows somethings bad with mom when u and i are in phone like today. he totally understands things


its the best ever i think. i love it!


Here are photos of the wonderful handiwork of Chris that I received this evening. The photos don't do them justice.


Also today I received news that my flooring is completed at Taos Place.


It's so odd that on some levels life goes on, while on other levels one is utterly destroyed.  Chris and I can alternate between talking about our dying Mother and this beautiful jewelry.  I guess it says something about our resilience as human beings, or maybe it's our denial and disbelief.  


Sometimes lately I think I'm moving from shock and disbelief to acceptance and resignation.  I've noticed before while grieving how totally human we remain even in our saddest moments.  People eat a lot after funerals, and move their bodies and talk like life is normal.  All at the same time life has become anything but normal.  How do we do it?  How do we keep going on, when part of us wants to scream and collapse?  There's something in us that presses us forward, some basic brain signals that move us, that enable us to keep talking and walking, all the while wondering just how that's possible when such a large part of our lives has gone forever.  How do we do it?