We're Not in Kansas Any More, Toto

Benny and I are learning a lot:

1) They love(d) halloween here.

2) The driving takes some getting used to. There is no "leading left" at the lights like there is in AZ. That's when after all the straight green lanes go, then the left lane goes. Not so here, and they honk rudely when you mess it up.  They honk rudely if you make a complete stop at a stop sign or look both ways before going, too.

3) Room service is expensive. I ordered oatmeal, an English Muffin and OJ the first morning and it was something like $6 + $8 + $2. with the fees they tacked on plus tip it was $25!! For oatmeal!!

4) It takes a long time to boil water here. The man who brought breakfast at the hotel apologized for its delay, explaining that it takes a long time to get the water boiling in the morning. I laughed out loud thinking he was joking, only to turn and see he was dead serious!

5) "The Help" is generally not acknowledged here and they are surprised when you notice them as human beings.

6) You could lose the hair from your arm (or the arm) from the passing of fast cyclists and skateboarders on the sidewalk.  You don't even hear them coming, then suddenly whoosh - and I feel like I should be spinning like on the cartoons in reaction to a fast passer.  Whew!

7) There are women here who really look like that "Cootchy Cootchy" lady - Charo - with stretched skin over skeletal cheekbones and lips smeared across their faces. Or else I saw her on Santa Monica Boulevard when she stopped to admire Benji.

8) There really are women here who walk like they are on a fashion runway all the time. Even at Cedars in IT - complete with the very high heels.  Some women are also so caught up in themselves and their image of how to be that they pointedly look askance at my flat shoes and big booty.  I have a few words for them:  Get real, get some decent values that are not centered on one-upmanship and get over it.

9) One is in danger of aquiring an Asian English accent working here in IT. The majority of the staff are Chinese or Asian Indian so you start wanting to talk in very precise clipped rhythms just to fit in! and the boss is Jamaican, I think, so i have to try to re-tune my ear to understand him.  The other day I had a meeting with an Armenian(?) woman and a Australian woman and I had a terrible time understanding them - more so the Australian!

10) My hotel was near Melrose and La Cienega. One evening we walked north to Santa Monica Boulevard and then west on it, and suddenly, Toto, we were not in Kansas any more.  It dawned on me gradually that I was seeing exclusively male couples of a distinctive sort. And then a lot of men's underwear stores.  And paraphernalia of a disturbing sort.  You know, leather, chains, etc.

Benji is thriving on the variety and all the people loving him, and lots of dogs to greet.

While working on the apartment search:

1) Creepy guy who said he'd come out to get me at the street then didn't. When I called he said, "How am I supposed to know you're here if you don't get out of the car?". I replied, "Because I'm the only one out here and I have the dome light on so you can see me!".  It was a strange neighborhood. Remote, very dark.  I was  not sure I wanted to get out of the car there but the guy sounded OK - and gay. Still, at that point I said, "OK, lets just skip it." Suddenly it didn't feel right any more.

2) Gay pretty young woman and her friend who seemed disappointed in me. Turned out to be a room-mate sitiation which was not clear in the ad.

3) Pretty nice quintessential Hollywood 1940's place, a small complex with pool in the middle, all facing the pool. Furnished bedroom, living room, kitchen, bath. Parking garage. coin laundry. Pretty good. Nice neighbors. Very nice neighbor Corgi who Benji liked a lot.

4). Very small furnished bedroom, kitchen, bath, adjoined to a house. Parking in driveway.

5)  Park LaBrea which was beautiful.  Across from LACMA and the La Brea tar pits.  Very nice, fully furnished and you could pick your furnishings.  But - $500 per month in pet rent in addition to steep pet deposits.

And yes, Chris, I checked the mattresses for bed bugs!!

It all worked out for the best in the end.  As Benji told you, our new place is awesome!  Very quiet and nice friendly people.  I met the man downstairs earlier in the week when he was out in his back "yard" (aka the pool deck) and my landlord had told me he had a piano and would probably be open to my playing it.  I finally worked up the nerve to ask him yesterday and went down to play it today.  I'd never heard of the brand - Petroff - but it's a fabulous instrument and I really warmed up, finally, and my head got on straight enough that by the end I was playing pretty decently.  I think it's time to audition.

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